Friday, 26 February 2016

Should I stay or should I go !

Question for the day " why do we make the same mistake a million times before we change our mind" ?  I know we've all done it to some extent, we choose the same kind of guy to go out with, or rush around trying to please everyone but not ourselves!  The latter is what iam referring to .You know the doh! moment when you realise you've been here before. The good thing is it didn't take so long before the penny dropped.

life comes along and gives us a metaphorical slap saying what you doing this for? Ok we're trying to change the negative self talk but also listening out for learning opportunities,so here was one this week.  Get the picture, here iam single mum with child on the spectrum, no family support
(No violins thankyou)  and busy ex partner, no babysitter and a massive need to go out.  Being the creative spontaneous person iam I book tickets for a gig thinking I will find someone to have my child,clearly not as I've just described. Optimism is a strength but....

The upshot is a friend says I will have your boy till 9.30 and I ask another to come from 9.30 onwards so that the first friend can go home to her own kids. But the second friend can't come so by now iam feeling stressed asking for favours and keeping everyone happy.  So, right (stamping my foot) iam not going. My first friend says you must go but I just feel like throwing in the towel right now, feeling angry,sad and passive or pas agg as she puts it.  She says I will stay till 10.30 , so I wash my hair and get my head from my bottom , and go out.
Generally the night is a success,I laugh and sing a long,  but my mental soup is tainted with negative ingredients .
Everything feels stressful,the getting out the journey home the empty petrol light the being much later than 10.30. I expect the worst and  calm lovely friend at home hopes I've had a great time!! Wtf!
A creative mind always has options to see the good or the bad.

Note to self:
- plan ahead and get organised!
- ask clearly for what you need
-  expect the best outcome
- tell yourself it's ok to ask for help
- beware of negative self talk and have a friendly talk to yourself asap!
- be kind to yourself
- there is always a choice

Laugh at yourself and the situation you've created!

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